Does Your Partner No Longer Love You?

Discover the secret to healing your heart.

The couple relationship is very important in our lives. It is one of the three relational pillars that hold us up.

One pillar is the relationship with yourself, the personal column that is closely connected to self-care.

Another pillar is family, friends, and work, which are the other important relationships in our lives, especially parents and children. And the partner, our mirror and our refuge, often a reflection of our deepest fears: The fear of not being loved, of not being chosen, or of being abandoned…

The main ingredient of a couple relationship, without a doubt, is LOVE. Without it there is nothing. It is the magic, what is not in our hands, it appears or it doesn't, but I don't decide when or how or with whom. Our heart chooses. After that there are more ingredients, of course, and they are also important, but today we haven't come to talk about that, today I want to explain to you how to heal your heart when your partner tells you they don't love you.

You can watch our YouTube video titled "Has your partner told you they no longer love you? Do you want to recover the love?"

Accept reality

Remember that a breakup is like grief. There is a phase of denial in which you don't want to accept reality. I know it's not what you want, you want to stay with him/her, but many times reality is not how we want it to be; if it were, life would be very easy and we would all have what we want.

Accept it, don't beg them not to leave you. Move away yourself. Put distance. If they have made a mistake, they will come back… but right now you can't do anything other than accept this reality that you don't like and try to have the least contact possible in order to think and heal. It's time to analyze that relationship and to think about yourself.

Furthermore, when life doesn't give you what you want, it's because it's giving you what you need to grow. How many times have you believed you would die when someone left you, and over time you saw that it was the best thing for you. That afterward a period of reconnecting with yourself came and someone better for you appeared. Think about it, we don't always know what's good for us. When someone tells you they don't love you, one door closes but another opens.

Don't bombard your self-worth

Don't think it's your fault, that you're not enough, or that there's something in you that's flawed. This has nothing to do with you, it's something of theirs, something of your partner. It can happen and in fact it happens constantly. The fact that someone stops wanting to be my partner doesn't mean I'm not worthy. Because then all human beings on the planet would stop being worthy, because everyone, absolutely everyone, has been left at some point in life. So don't use it to hurt yourself. Don't lie to yourself.

At some point your partner simply disconnected from you, there's nothing more behind that. You're still just as worthy as when they chose you.

Let go. Release

It's the most important point, to let go of what is no longer for you. Release it, learn to let go of what is leaving. You don't deserve to have by your side someone who no longer loves you, nor do they deserve to be with someone they no longer love. We all deserve to love and be loved.

The act of letting go of something is felt in the heart; when you do it, calm appears. You may be sad, but at peace with what is happening. Don't fight with reality, because you're bound to lose.

If that person is meant to be for you, they will come back, and if not, something better will come both for you and for him/her.

To love someone is also to let them go.

Think about yourself

Now it's time to think about yourself. Maybe that relationship had been good for you, but now it no longer is. So you must think about yourself, about what's good for you and about what you need.

Surround yourself with those who love you, friends and family. Choose carefully what activities you do, don't fill your schedule just to avoid thinking, do what fulfills you.

Set goals again and go after them. Dance classes, cooking classes,… whatever you were setting aside for lack of time. Take care of yourself, try to sleep well, eat well, and exercise.

Physical exercise is healing. It clears the mind and you release endorphins that will do you a lot of good to feel well.

Don't fill your emptiness with alcohol or with parties, because afterward, in the hangover, you're going to feel much worse. Fill that emptiness with yourself, with your most essential self, with what defines you. The hobbies you truly enjoy.

Heal your heart

I know it hurts, we've all been through that at some point in life. Believe me, I know how it hurts because right after my first child was born, my partner told me, and for a moment I thought I would die. It's a pain that settles into your heart and you must heal it.

And you will do it through forgiveness. Forgive them for not loving you, he or she didn't choose it, remember that love is not something we decide. Forgive them for the pain they have caused you because they didn't do it with that intention.

Thank them for their sincerity and their courage in saying it, it's the best thing they could do for you. And also be grateful for the time you've shared, all the good you've lived together. A relationship ending doesn't mean it wasn't valuable.

And lastly, wish them the best, because that wish will come back to you like a boomerang, bringing into your life something better than what you had.

And cry, because crying is healing. It's the best relief for sadness. In grief, in a loss, I must also leave space for sadness. Afterward you'll feel much better.

Seize this opportunity to grow

Remember:

When life doesn't give you what you want, it's because it's giving you what you need to grow. So seize this opportunity.

Faced with a reality you don't like, you can do two things: get angry, fight, hate them, hate yourself, try to change that reality, exhaust yourself, and die of pain when you see that none of that has worked, or, on the contrary, you can accept this reality just as it is, understand that you must let them go with love, and take care of the most important person in your life, which is you.

Focus on yourself and become the person you want to have as a partner. Grow, learn, and take care of yourself. Love will knock at your door again, it always does.

It happened to me too

I remember as if it were yesterday the pain I felt upon hearing the words "I no longer love you." I thought the world was falling apart beneath my feet. I looked into his eyes and I no longer saw him. What had happened? Was it my fault? Was I no longer as attractive as before the pregnancy? Had he met another woman?

I hated him and I hated myself. I looked at my baby without knowing what I was going to do now. I thought I would never get over it, I thought I would never love anyone the way I had loved him. Nothing could be further from the truth.

When I was able to step away and think, I knew I had to accept what was happening to me and that we had to separate. We did, I forgave him because I knew he hadn't chosen it, and even less so when we had just become parents, and I forgave myself because I knew it wasn't my fault. I let it go and took care of myself.

We learned to love each other as the parents of our child. We healed the wounds and love returned to our lives.

In the end, you only need to take care of yourself, surround yourself with your loved ones and with what defines you, and let time pass. One day, you feel that it no longer hurts, that you're no longer the same person who received that news that day, and that everything that happened now has a meaning. Because what is meant to be, is.

If you want to expand on the information, we leave you our video: