Keys to educate in equality and prevent gender violence

Have you ever considered that raising your children in a sexist way can foster gender violence? Do you realise how important this is?

The data show us that, instead of being a problem with a tendency to disappear as one would expect from a modern and civilised society, it is a problem that not only persists but grows alarmingly among our young people.

According to a study by the Universidad Complutense de Madrid, 4% of the girls surveyed admitted having suffered an aggression at the hands of their partner or ex-partner. In addition, 25% acknowledged that their partner controlled them through their mobile phone (particularly through the WhatsApp application), and up to 23% stated they had felt that their partner was trying to isolate them from their group of friends.

Regarding the boys, 20% agreed that boys could date many girls at the same time, but not the other way round. Finally, more than 12% considered that making threats to their partner if the partner wanted to break off the relationship was not a form of abuse.

See study

Striking, isn't it?

Well, our children are the future adolescents of our country and we can keep making these percentages grow, or we can get our act together and put an end to gender violence once and for all.

Keys to educate in equality and avoid sexist attitudes

Share the household chores

To be able to teach a child that household chores are everyone's responsibility, we must do it by example. I still remember how I used to rebel at home when I had to clear the table but my brother didn't. We can no longer allow that to happen, boys and girls must have the same responsibilities at home. But to teach by example we must go one step further, father and mother must take care of the household chores, no matter how they are shared out, but they have to see their father in the kitchen without being surprised, or ironing or doing the shopping. In a society in which men and women work outside the home, this should be the norm.

Teach that expressing feelings is not just for girls

Phrases such as "men don't cry" have done a lot of damage to our society. It seems that expressing feelings means showing weakness and men are the strong sex. This will take a lot of effort to make disappear. But the way is to create an atmosphere at home in which showing feelings is well regarded and where crying is not something negative. Once again, if we express our feelings freely we will be teaching by example.

Respect the extracurricular activities they choose

I will always remember when my eldest son told me that football was for boys; I watched dumbfounded as society had undone the work I had done by making the effort to play football with them on the odd Sunday.

Luckily I haven't heard it again, especially after playing at a school where boys and girls played on the same team and, what's more, his best friend was an ace.

As parents we must not take for granted that boys will play football and girls will go to ballet. Let's try to see what they really like to do, regardless of their sex; that is what would come closest to equality.

Encourage a non-sexist use of toys

In the first "letter to the Three Kings" that my son made, he asked for a little kitchen. He has played with it a lot and it has been passed down to his younger brother. There have also been dolls and cars and more creative toys. We cannot forget that boys and girls learn by playing and therefore roles are formed in this way from a very young age. Luckily, in nurseries we have the "racons" and everyone, regardless of their sex, plays at cooking, doing hair, parking cars or healing someone. This is how they learn the roles they will carry out as adults.

When it comes to playing, everyone can freely use all the toys.

Don't use sexist language

Phrases so commonly used in our society such as:

"just like a woman"

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"that's a boys' thing"

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"women can't drive"

Our children are forming themselves, their future personality is nourished by everything they see and hear. If we use sexist language, we foster inequality.

There are two fundamental pillars in the education of our children: one is what we teach by example and the other is what we teach them with words.