7 keys to tell if we are raising our children well

Any parent, if asked, will agree with me that raising our children well is not easy at all. Often we don't know how to react to the thousands of tests they set for us every day, and we tend to rely on our intuition to handle it in the most appropriate way. Other times, we simply repeat the parenting patterns of our own parents: the threats, the shouting and the slaps. We may even win the battles, but that does not guarantee that we will win the war.

It is a challenge and it worries us. It is clear that more and more involved parents want to give the best education to their children and, to do so, they seek help in parents' schools or in the books written about this.

Well then, to measure whether what we have done so far is leading us down the right path, here are these keys:

They have stopped having tantrums

Tantrums are common at 3-4 years of age. After that, if children keep having them, it is because we have not known how to act. If your child has stopped having them, it is a good sign, it means they have learned to manage frustrations and to settle for a NO. We recommend reading our post What we need to know about tantrums and how to control them.

They obey frequently

Getting children to obey you is not an easy task. It requires a great deal of persistence on the part of parents. Hours and hours repeating the same orders over and over again, with patience but with consistency. If, after these efforts, your children usually obey you at least by the third time, consider it a success. Especially if they do so in public, obeying when there are other children present is more complicated.

They take on their responsibilities

At the foundation of a good upbringing are responsibilities. As our children grow, their responsibilities should grow too. If they take them on, even if it is hard for them at first, but they end up making them their own, you have achieved the goal: that they learn that in life there are always at least 5 things a day you have to do even if you don't like them.

They are able to share

Sharing toys is the first step. Young children, up to 3 years old, do not usually do it. Teaching them that sharing is better because you always gain something is the goal. You gain friends, you gain toys, you gain good moments,...

They are grateful

When you have always given a child everything they want, they often appear dissatisfied, play little with their toys and always want what they don't have. Getting a child to be grateful for what they have and to value it is not easy at all, and even less so in a consumer society in which children get what they want without any effort. If your child is able to enjoy their things and does not act spoiled by always asking for something different (new toys, sweets, a special plate of food they then don't eat…) you can feel proud of how you are raising them.

They don't usually embarrass you in public

Children often take advantage of our reluctance to scold them in public to behave worse than they usually do at home. When we manage to get our children to stop using these tricks and to behave just as well in public as at home, we have won a valuable battle.

They don't deceive you

If your child does not usually use strategies to manipulate you or lies to get what they want, and tends to be honest even when they have done something that was not right, it is clear that you have raised them according to the principles of respect and communication in the family. We must raise our children in an atmosphere of trust, in which telling the truth, even if it is bad, will always be more valued than deceit and manipulation.