Recipes for positive self-esteem in children

What self-esteem is and why it matters from childhood

Self-esteem is a component that develops in children from "minute 0". Healthy self-esteem is the kind that will make our children feel good about themselves and be able to manage conflicts better and resist negative people/situations. We, as parents, are responsible for building high self-esteem in them.

A fundamental variable to consider is the parents' attitude toward their children and, above all, how the children perceive and interpret it. As follows:

Recipes to foster proper development of positive self-esteem

- Be a positive model. If you are a person who is hard on yourself, negative, or prone to complaining, you will end up reflecting this to your child. Try to convey positivity and flexibility toward life to your child.

- Evaluate your children in a realistic way without falling into the error of creating a model of the child we would like to have. Imagine that you love listening to music constantly and you also consider that people who like music possess great sensitivity. You try to instill this in your child, but you see that they do not like listening to music at all; that does not mean they will not be a sensitive child. Nor would it be right to express our disappointment because they do not like it and/or to point out that our nephew is passionate about it.

- Help your child take part in constructive and cooperative activities instead of encouraging competitiveness. There are many games that foster the development of these two concepts.

- We are aware that nowadays in many families both spouses work, and this means they spend fewer hours with their children. But that does not mean there is less affection, since this depends on how we make the most of this time through our attitude and the type of interaction we have with them. The quality of the affection we give is better than the amount of time we have available.

- Maintain a correct parenting style, as this is another fundamental component for building positive self-esteem. Let us remember that there are 3 basic parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, and diplomatic. According to studies, both the permissive style and the authoritarian style help lower the self-esteem of the little ones; on the other hand, it has been shown that the diplomatic style favors their self-concept. Therefore, both parents should adopt this style in a constant and consistent way.

- To link to the previous recipe, do not compare your child to others. They are unique and special, since they possess a series of characteristics that make them different from others. We must make known the characteristics that make them who they are.

- Reward their successes. When we refer to success we are not referring to getting a perfect score or winning a medal, but to any effort and progress, however small. This is a triumph for your child. Practice it frequently; you will surely find many occasions to do so, and rest assured that all these behaviors you have reinforced will occur in the future.

- Help your child set achievable goals. Do not allow them to set goals that are too high from the very beginning that turn out to be very difficult or impossible to reach. It is our responsibility to guide them in the goals they can set based on their abilities and personal characteristics.

- Listen with attention. It is likely that sometimes, while your child comes to us to tell us about something that happened to them, we are busy with our tasks and do not quite give them the attention they need at that moment. Stop and listen to them; they need to know that their ideas or opinions matter. And if it is about emotions, put a name to what they are feeling at that moment: "I understand that you feel sad because Pablo did not pass you the ball…"

- Give your child responsibilities. Children who are assigned certain tasks at home understand that their work is important and necessary for everything to run well, and at the same time they feel like an integral part of the group.

Conclusion

If we apply the recipes mentioned above, we will be able to help with a good development of positive self-esteem in children.