How Your Child Can Make More Friends

Surely more than once your child has come to you saying: "Juan went off with David and didn't want to play with me" or "Alba and I were the best friends but now she spends more time with Claudia", etc.

Some children find it harder to connect with others. This may be because they are emotionally immature or very shy, or because they haven't had many opportunities to be with other children, or they find it hard to understand social norms, are very rigid, have a delay in speaking, etc.

In their early years, little ones play mostly with their parents and on their own, but between the ages of three and six, friends begin to take an important place in their life. And from the age of 6 children become even more aware of friendships, of whom they prefer and whom they reject being with. At this age preferences are clearer, and this makes many of them feel "betrayed" when their "best" friend goes off with another. These reactions are quite normal at these ages, but we do have to make sure that our children don't isolate themselves and that these rejection behaviors are rather occasional. If, on the contrary, they are recurrent, we should look more closely into what is happening.

Obviously we cannot be by their side in the schoolyard or in the park, but as parents we can acquire some strategies to make it easier for them to make new friends:

Suggest new games

It's important to explain to them that not everyone always likes to play the same things. That's why, as parents, we can teach our children varied and fun games so that they can relate more easily to their peers.

There is a very interesting book that can give you ideas: "101 juegos no competitivos"

Invite a child over for an afternoon snack

Another good tactic we can offer is for the child to invite one or more children over for an afternoon snack at home or somewhere fun like the park. We ourselves can also suggest group games, throw pajama parties, and invite them to birthday parties. In short, attractive activities that they can all enjoy together.

It works very well to have a good relationship with some of the parents so that the relationship between the children can be built. Try to socialize with other parents; after all, we are role models for our children.

Talk to the teacher:

Teachers can find ways to pair your child with classmates who are friendlier and more willing to accept new friends, with whom they can share common interests. This way we will help boost the child's confidence.

Weekend activities:

So that they can socialize more, we can suggest activities where they can meet other children. For example, going to "gincanas" (treasure hunts) for kids.

There are also many websites that suggest specific weekend activities (theater, music, exhibitions, festivals, etc.). Here are several examples:

https://www.timeout.es/barcelona/es/ninos

http://www.guiadelocio.com/barcelona/ninos

Sign them up for an esplai (after-school leisure club):

In addition to meeting new children, these centers teach fundamental values for learning to relate better to others: cooperation, solidarity, flexibility, creativity and patience.

Tell them about our own experiences:

Telling them how you managed to make friends when you were little, what things you talked about, what your body language was like when interacting with others (for example: making eye contact), what activities you did with them, or simply how you approached them to start contact. Our own experiences have an immediate effect on ours since we are their reference.

Don't force them to have friends.

If your child realizes that you want to impose making more friends, it can be counterproductive and may even make them withdraw even further. As parents we should be their guides to help them in a natural way with the range of resources we can provide, but never force them to do it.