How to overcome the fear of the dark

Throughout childhood, one of the most common or frequent fears is the fear of the dark.

It is considered one of the most frequent developmental fears between the ages of 3 and 8.

This feeling is often related to unknown things and the feeling of loneliness that this entails.

What is fear?

It is the feeling of anxiety due to the threat of a risk, whether real or imaginary, or the fear we have that something different from what we really want will happen to us, therefore it generates a feeling of danger. Therefore, the fear of the dark is not of the night itself but of the risks that you can imagine might happen.

When does this fear begin?

Sometimes this fear begins after our child has heard a story, seen a movie, read a book, or been told a tale. For this reason, it is especially important at early ages to control what they watch on television or the things that adults tell them.

This fear usually appears when it is time to go to sleep, that is, when it is time to turn off the lights and stay alone in their room. For this reason, this is often a moment that tends to be drawn out in order to avoid reaching this situation.

It is important to find out whether our child really is afraid of the dark or whether they are drawing out this moment because from a certain time onward they can no longer do the things they like, such as playing, and therefore it is an excuse not to go to bed.

How can it be overcome?

Darkness creates in children a feeling of insecurity and therefore makes their imagination grow about what might happen, and they tend to think about negative things.

It is very important to be able to talk with our child and help them understand that the fear has no real justification, but at no time should we ridicule them, neither to themselves nor in front of other people, for what happens to them.

When talking with them about their fear, at the same time we should try to find out what really frightens them and try to play it down. We can also explain to them that many people have this fear, or that we ourselves had this fear when we were little and overcame it.

We can play games in the dark to overcome this fear. Play hide-and-seek or hide an object and look for it with a small flashlight, or make shadows, or tell them stories and tales without light, or guess things that they are seeing or touching, etc. This way, little by little they will associate the dark with pleasant activities.

For children it is extremely important to create routines throughout the whole day, and for this reason also at bedtime, so they will see that bedtime is one too. We can create the routine of showering, having dinner, reading a story in bed, and going to sleep.

Even if our child is afraid of the dark, it is important not to sleep with them all night since they may associate it with having security against something that might happen. It is better to be with them for a little while reading them a story, and once they are calm, to leave.

General guidelines

• Be understanding and have patience
• Talk with them
• Do not close the doors of the rooms
• Install small lights so that the child is not completely in the dark.
• Avoid things that cause fear, such as some stories or certain television programs
• Encourage games in the dark: playing hide-and-seek, making shadows, or playing at guessing objects without light, among others.
• Establish daily and calming routines.