From One Perfectionist to Another, Let Me Tell You

Are you a perfectionist?

If you are one of those who wants to give 150% of yourself and it never seems good enough, if you devote a lot of time to your professional life, if you believe that there is no middle ground, that something is either very good or bad, that there is only one way to do things, the perfect one, it is very likely that you are a perfectionist.

Perfectionism is a personality trait that, to a high degree, can bring significant psychological problems that require treatment, but that, to a moderate degree, can be very good and bring out the best in you.

Excessive perfectionism can cause negative consequences, for example: living more tense, being more distressed, not enjoying achievements and, even, a feeling of failure despite doing things well. It is never enough, it can always be better. This state generates anxiety and rigidity. It is a need for absolute control over their entire life, so that nothing is left to chance and nothing can go wrong. When they make a mistake, the feeling of guilt overwhelms them, they do not allow themselves to err. The world is like a great trial, they are always being judged and the worst of judges are themselves.

But not everything is bad, like a good perfectionist, if you set out to change this, you will succeed, you just have to find a reason to do it. From everything to nothing, there is a lot of space. From 0 to 100 there are 99 numbers. It is just a matter of lowering the demands you place on yourself and on others. Allowing yourself to make mistakes like every human being, understanding that you cannot control everything and that the time you waste seeking perfection is time you do not devote to other things (your wellbeing, your family, your friends…). Life is much more than being perfect, it is being happy. If you want to delve deeper into this topic, I recommend our post ARE YOU A PERFECTIONIST? DO YOU WANT TO STOP BEING ONE?

But this post is not about that, this post is about a tale:

The King of Perfectland

The prosperous kingdom and the need for control

There was once a king who turned a small village into a great kingdom.

Thanks to his desire to do things well and to never give up or stray from the right path, he had managed to have the most prosperous kingdom in those lands. He felt proud and set out to do better every day, surpassing himself and controlling the possible threats that might appear.

He was so afraid of making a mistake that would end his kingdom that he began to organize everything in a very strict way so that nothing would be left to chance. He made list after list of the tasks that had to be carried out and how to do them. For him there was only one correct way to do things well, and it was the one he said.

He controlled everything, how the servants set the table, placing the cutlery in an exact order, how his army trained, strictly complying with the rules…from the smallest to the largest, everything was controlled by the king, who delegated nothing to his subjects. He believed that if he wanted things to be done well, he had to do them himself.

The price of control

Soon he stopped having time to play with his daughters, and he was never seen riding his prized horse, which he had left abandoned in the stables.

His face changed color, his cheeks were no longer rosy as in the past, now they were white and his dark circles a dark gray.

He used to be in a bad mood and never again celebrated his famous dinners with his friends. He could not waste time on nonsense, because he had a kingdom in his charge!!

The fear of scarcity

And although his kingdom grew and grew and his fortune was one of the largest in the place, the king could not stop worrying. What if one day he ran out of money? With this thought he ordered the construction of a small fortress within the walls, guarded day and night, where he began to store money and riches for possible future crises. He never wanted his family to lack anything. So great was his obsession that he himself supervised all the purchases made in the palace. The expensive dresses and jewels came to an end. The banquets that previously served to celebrate any conquest of the army or his daughters' birthdays were no longer held. So the Palace was transformed into a gray and boring place full of rules to follow.

The punishments and the rebellion

In this atmosphere, the first clandestine parties did not take long to appear. Until one day the king discovered them. Full of rage and worry, he began to impose great punishments for any disobedience that occurred. The rules had to be obeyed, without exceptions, and he established the death penalty. Whoever dared to organize a clandestine party would die on the gallows.

His rage grew when he thought about how ungrateful everyone was. After all he had done for this kingdom, this is how they repaid him. The punishments increased, and so did the people's discontent.

One night, the king, who for some time had not managed to sleep peacefully, heard music coming from the cellars. He went down with his personal guard and when he reached the bottom he could not believe what his eyes were seeing, a party with musicians and jesters, in his own Palace!

But the worst was to see that his daughters were present. He swore that he would discover who the organizer and culprit was and that he would hang him in front of all the people.

A week later he was hanging his own daughter. The queen's pleas were of no use; he had to enforce the rules more than anyone because he was the one who made them.

After that he was never the same again, he lost himself in his madness and his kingdom gradually disappeared.

The end of the perfectionist king

One morning he got up and went to the stable to weep beside his horse. But it was no longer there. He looked around and saw a kingdom in ruins, empty and desolate.

And so it was that one morning the king of perfection finally opened his eyes and saw that he had lost everything.