Emperor Syndrome

Is your child the one who sets the rules at home? Are their tantrums uncontrollable? Do you feel like your child is dominating you? It may be that your child suffers from the so-called "Emperor Syndrome".

What is Emperor Syndrome?

Emperor Syndrome or "tyrant child" is a behavioral disorder displayed by children who show aggressive behavior mostly toward their parents, who are unable to control it. Other characteristics we may observe would be these:

- Children who feel a lot of anger and rage, especially when parents try to set limits. The normal thing is that by around 5 years old they already know how to verbalize and more or less control their anger. But in the case of tyrant children, they don't control it, their tantrums are exaggerated and turn their parents' lives into an ordeal.

- They are children who are usually angry and sometimes sad.

- They have no empathy. They don't care how their bad behavior may affect others. Since they don't develop empathy, they have great difficulty showing guilt and remorse.

- They are very egocentric. They only think about themselves.

- Exaggerated and uncontrollable tantrums.

- Verbal and/or physical aggression toward others.

- Low tolerance for frustration.

- They are not able to learn from mistakes and punishments. To the parents' despair, scolding does not seem to work and the child seeks their own benefit.

- They are liars.

- Low self-esteem.

- External locus. They always blame others for what they do.

- They constantly seek attention and not only from their parents, but from their entire environment.

- They are vengeful.

Why does this happen to them?

Many parents feel guilty because they think they have done something wrong. But experts point out that there are genetic, family and environmental causes that contribute to the development of this disorder.

When we talk about genetic causes, we often detect that some family member has had these characteristics since childhood.

At the family level, there are different aspects to consider. First, permissiveness, lack of affection, separations, inconsistency in the educational guidelines of both parents, scarcity of time or overprotection, could be aspects that help this syndrome emerge. To make matters worse, we have very few moments to spend with our children and this makes many parents feel guilty and "fill" that gap by allowing them everything.

The environment also has an influence because children live in a materialistic and individualistic society where easy success prevails and aspects such as showing solidarity and sharing with others are devalued.

How to treat it?

The only way to eliminate these behaviors is with a specialized treatment at both the individual and family level.

Many times families think it is something that will "fix itself" and they do not imagine that these behaviors can lead to more serious problems. That is why it is essential to detect the problem early and ask professionals for help.

At the same time, we provide some guidelines to help curb these tyrannical behaviors:

- Both parents must go hand in hand with the educational guidelines. If this does not happen, the child will take advantage of the situation.

- Very clear rules at home. Essential so that the child observes there is a foundation of discipline at home.

- Routines are paramount for this type of child. Time to get up, get dressed, eat, household responsibilities, etc.

- Accept how your child is and visualize solutions and possibilities in the face of stressful situations.

- Do not use threats. That aggravates their behavior, in addition to fueling their insecurity.

- If they scream and kick, do not get down to the child's level and ignore them. When they are calmer, you will be able to pay attention to them.

- It is useless to reason with the child since the tyrant child is not used to reconsidering. Instead, you have to remind them what the rules are and be firm.

- Since they have no empathy, it is useless to tell them to put themselves in someone else's place. But indirectly, it can be introduced little by little.