# The only child advantages or disadvantages > Spain currently ranks at the bottom of Europe for birth rates: 1.3 children on average per family and nearly 30% of families have only one child. A... - **Author:** mireia-navarro-vera · **Category:** Infantil - **Published:** 2016-01-17 · **Updated:** 2020-06-16 - **URL:** https://elteuespai.com/en/only-child-advantages-or-disadvantages/ - _Translation pending clinical review._ --- Spain currently** **finds itself **at the bottom of the birth rate** in Europe: 1.3 children on average per family and nearly 30% of families have only one child. Despite these figures, there are still **clichés surrounding the only child**, such as that they are spoiled, indulged, bossy, selfish, conceited, that they will get bored, etc. The reality is that the experience of **the only child has its advantages and its drawbacks** (or risks), and it is the upbringing given by the parents that will be decisive for the development of the child's personality, just as with children who have siblings or in large families.** An only child, by the mere fact of not having siblings, is not condemned to develop any special type of behavior**, although it is important that parents be alert to** not exaggerate certain reactions** and thus avoid those stereotypical attitudes that have been associated with the only child, such as** the overprotective attitude derived from the exclusive attention given to the child**. The main risk in raising **a single child is that exclusive attention turns into excessive attention**. This attention in its proper measure provides the child with security, self-esteem, self-confidence, etc. But excessive attention linked to the fear that something negative might happen to them can easily and quickly turn into an overprotective attitude. ## Therefore, it is important to be alert to the following behaviors or attitudes: - **![Only children pros and cons](/images/blog/2016/01/hijos-unicos.webp)Excessive worry and/or exaggerated fear that something bad might happen to the child**. It is important to control this fear and try not to show it in front of the child, since they can easily pick it up and become a fearful and insecure person. On the other hand, this fear will mean they are not allowed to enjoy activities they could experience very satisfyingly, such as going on outings or camps, practicing certain sports, etc. It is important to avoid verbalizations of the type "*be careful*", "*watch out*" and not deny them activities solely because the parents are afraid. - **Making indiscriminate** or gratuitous assessments of the type "**you are the best**", "**you are the most handsome, the most intelligent…**". In order to prevent the child from becoming a conceited, egocentric and narcissistic person, it is important that they learn to value specific behaviors, such as for example: "*Very good! The goal you scored is great*", "*you have beautiful eyes*" or "*congratulations on your math grade*". - **It is important to facilitate the child's contact with other children of their age**, so they can develop social skills and behaviors that are only learned by sharing time and space with other children, for example, sharing. It is for this reason that the parents of an only child should encourage this type of relationship, for example by signing them up for an esplai, a casal, getting together with relatives and friends who have children, etc. On the other hand, it is also important to keep in mind that by not experiencing the typical friction and fights between siblings, they may have some difficulty managing this type of conflict. Parents should not try to prevent them from "*suffering*", for example, by immediately defending them when they have a dispute with another child, and should know how to stay out of it. In this way they will gradually learn to relate, share, compete, negotiate and experience the fights and arguments typical of their age. - **The separation between parents and child can turn out to be a little more difficult for both parties** (the start of schooling, sleeping away from home…). To avoid this difficulty, moments of separation can be encouraged from the time the child is small, such as sleeping over at a friend's house, going to camp, etc. ** Once the behaviors and attitudes to take into account in raising the only child have been pointed out**, let us think about the advantages of the experience of a single child. As regards the parents, they will be able to afford the luxury of allocating more economic resources to their child and dedicating more time and attention to them. And on the other hand, they will also have more time to dedicate to themselves. ## As regards the child, the advantages of not having siblings will be the following: - **![There is nothing wrong with having an only child, they are not more spoiled or more selfish](/images/blog/2016/01/el-hijo-unico.webp)They will develop their creativity more easily**, since they must learn early to entertain themselves and play alone, and that favors the development of their imagination and inventiveness, recreating fictional worlds in which to entertain themselves for a long time. - **They will find it easier to develop generosity** and order, since they will not have to constantly defend their belongings from siblings and when they lend their things they will be more certain that they will be returned. Thus it is likely that they will be more generous with other children. On the other hand, the only child will more easily learn to take responsibility for keeping things in an order that depends solely on them, since if they leave their belongings in a place they know that later they will still be there because there is no one to touch them or mess them up. - **The only child will probably acquire study habits more easily** since at the times they need to concentrate to do homework and study, there will be no other children around to bother and distract them. With regard to the topic of studies, their parents will be able to dedicate more time to helping them with schoolwork. - The only child's interaction with adults can speed up their intellectual, linguistic and emotional development due to the adult models to follow. **Lastly, the only child will miss out on everything that having a sibling relationship entails, both the good (such as the lifelong rapport) and the bad (jealousy, envy)**. It is important to point out that when there is a seven-year difference between the first and second sibling, **the eldest child can be considered an only child**, since during their first years of life, which are the most decisive in terms of psychological and emotional development, they will have been raised as such. That is why it is so important that the child be raised in a balanced family environment, as one more member and not as the center of attention, so that it is easier and more natural for them to share space, affection, time, objects, parents, etc.