# How can we help our child if they suffer bullying? > It is very important that adults, both parents and teachers, know how to act in response to certain clues the child may give us. - **Author:** mireia-navarro-vera · **Category:** Infantil - **Published:** 2017-10-06 · **Updated:** 2020-06-13 - **URL:** https://elteuespai.com/en/how-to-help-our-child-suffering-bullying/ - _Translation pending clinical review._ --- It often happens that a child who suffers school bullying finds it hard to tell their parents, guardians, etc.… within them there is a feeling of shame, insecurity and even feeling inferior. All of this generally makes the child endure these aggressions in silence. It is very important that adults, both parents and teachers, know how to act in response to certain clues the child may give us. ## What is bullying? **WHAT IS BULLYING?** According to Olweus: “A child is **bullied or becomes a victim when they are exposed, repeatedly and over a period of time, to negative actions carried out by another student or several of them”** ### Types of bullying **THEY CAN BE CLASSIFIED INTO:** - **![boy threatening to hit another](/images/blog/2017/10/Bullying-in-school-300x200.webp)PHYSICAL**: shoving, kicking, assaults… - **VERBAL**: insults, nicknames, public belittling… - **PSYCHOLOGICAL**: actions to lower the child's self-esteem and create insecurity and fear. - **SOCIAL**: isolating the individual, ignoring them, rejecting them, isolating them and excluding them from the group. Generally, these situations occur frequently and it is difficult for the student who is being intimidated to defend themselves on their own. ### Characteristics that must be present **3 CHARACTERISTICS MUST BE PRESENT:** - The **intentionality of the aggressive behavior** and of “wanting to cause harm”. - The **repetition of the events,** even if they occur outside school hours. - **Imbalance of strength or power**, whether at a psychological, social or physical level. Generally, the first thing that happens is that there is a change in the child's normal behavior. They usually become quiet, sad… a change in their behavior that lasts for some time is a first warning symptom. If you want to expand the information about the warning symptoms [you can also read our post on bullying](/en/school-bullying/) ## Warning signs and symptoms **SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS ARE:** - The child starts getting bad grades. - Changes in their eating habits. - Changes in sleep habits. Having nightmares or waking up at night or also sleeping more than usual. - They communicate little about what they do at school. - Psychosomatic complaints: stomach aches or headaches… - They appear sad. - They don't want to go to school, or to go alone if they are older. - Mood changes without apparent reason. - They lose things or things appear broken. ## How can they be helped? **HOW CAN THEY BE HELPED?** If a child complains about acts of school bullying, generally **we should believe them** in the first instance, but we should ask them for details about what they tell us. We must encourage communication and dialogue between children and adults, whether parents or teachers. ![youngsters mocking](/images/blog/2017/10/o-LGBT-BULLIED-facebook-300x150.webp)It may sometimes happen that, out of fear, the child asks us not to tell anyone, but it is extremely important to **talk to the teachers** in private, to request a meeting with the child's tutor to find out what is happening at school and, if it turns out to be true, to put an end to what is happening. **The school must know the situation and thus will be able to put the necessary measures in place**, solve the problem and prevent it from happening again. We must also support our child in what they tell us; we can **spend more time with them, try to encourage them to express their emotions and feelings and show them our trust**. **Getting to know our child's friends and the people they spend time with every day**. Inviting a classmate home or to do some activities together fosters social relationships with their peers and is of great help in having more confidence when attending school. There are **extracurricular activities such as judo or karate that help and offer self-control tools and provide self-confidence strategies**, which is why they are useful for these children. **Signing up for theater or playing role-playing games with them** about how to act in different situations can be a fun way to practice both assertiveness and problem-solving. Also doing and participating **in activities such as day camps, team sports, and hiking groups can be a fun way for them to work on social skills** and gain more self-awareness. ### Recommended books We recommend **some books that are of great help in helping children understand the** topic: **No te metas conmigo, de Harker Thomas** [![cover of the book no te metas conmigo](/images/blog/2017/10/libro-bully-1-300x266.webp)](https://www.amazon.es/No-metas-conmigo-HABLEMOS/dp/8426136451/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1507046677&sr=8-1&keywords=No+te+metas+conmigo,+de+Harker+Thomas&linkCode=sl1&tag=360k-21&linkId=27c48063d379cad8d7b0ccfe0780cf13) **Lucía y Valentín aprenden a no hacer bullying de Mireia Augé** [![cover of the book lucia y valentin aprenden a no hacer bullying](/images/blog/2017/10/libro-bullying-2-300x289.webp)](https://www.amazon.es/Valent%C3%ADn-aprenden-bullying-Buenas-Maneras-ebook/dp/B0165RWNTM/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1507047393&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=Luc%C3%ADa+y+Valent%C3%ADn+aprenden+a+no+hacer+bullyng&linkCode=sl1&tag=360k-21&linkId=bc3a1d686fb04d792fc75fe12f536ffe) **Acoso escolar ¡No!, de Stépphanie Duval y Jacques Azam** [![cover of the book acoso escolar no](/images/blog/2017/10/libro-bully-3-235x300.webp)](https://www.amazon.es/Acoso-escolar-%C2%A1No-Aprende-decir/dp/8428529442/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1507047538&sr=1-1&keywords=Acoso+escolar+%C2%A1No!,+de+St%C3%A9pphanie+Duval+y+Jacques+Azam&linkCode=sl1&tag=360k-21&linkId=b0568a1fe1a67d34a96bbb19e73a17a9)