# Discover how to be happy in a simple and effective way > Just as you would expect, psychology has also gone along with this trend, and we increasingly find more books and studies about happiness. - **Author:** mireia-navarro-vera · **Category:** Adultos - **Published:** 2015-11-09 · **Updated:** 2016-02-15 - **URL:** https://elteuespai.com/en/discover-how-to-be-happy-in-a-simple-and-effective-way/ - _Translation pending clinical review._ --- It seems that humankind has always been in search of happiness, and in our century it has turned into a real** long-distance race to see who gets there first**. That is why we are bombarded with advertisements about things that can make us happier or better, and why we feel we must share our special moments on social media so they seem more real. Just as you would expect, psychology has also gone along with this trend, and we increasingly find more books and studies about happiness. But if I had to choose just one, I would pick the concept held by the Israeli psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar, pioneer of so-called** Positive Psychology**:* "accepting life as it is will free you from the fear of failure"*, because* "it is precisely the expectation of being perfectly happy that makes us less so"*. **The mistake lies in the concept** and not in the method. **Happiness does not lie in** reaching **perfection** in everything we do,** it lies in enjoying every step** without needing to obtain the best result. **Another frequent mistake is to believe that happiness is related to money**: the important thing is to understand that happiness is not having more: once you reach a middle income level, **an increase in income does not necessarily translate into greater happiness**. According to Positive Psychology, happiness can be learned, and I could not agree more; every day I see this process in my office, I see this transformation in many of my patients, and the techniques I use are simple: ## 1.Physical exercise The release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters of pleasure, will make us feel much better, and to achieve it just 30 minutes of exercise a day is enough. It's that simple: introduce physical exercise into your routine and you will be happier. Easy, isn't it? ## 2. Become aware of what you have Learn to **value what you have**: your family, your friends, your work, your home,… and so, one by one, take stock of everything around you. We are not aware of how fortunate we are because we are always **focused precisely on what we lack**, on what we don't have or on what we want to achieve. **The mistake is not having aspirations, the mistake is to focus** only **on what you lack** and not also on what you already have. To achieve it, just be thankful each day for three different things you already have. Easy, isn't it? ## 3. Don't seek perfectionism because it doesn't exist ![we were born to be happy not perfect](/images/blog/2015/11/feliz-300x300.webp)Stop **spending energy on making everything perfect** because you will be striving every day to **achieve the impossible**. Being the best mother/father, the best friend, the best worker, having the best weekends planned, not leaving a single place unseen on your summer trip… ugh, what stress. At that level, you will never be able to be happy. Free yourself from the fear of failure and simply aim to be the mother of your children, a friend to your friends, a good worker, and live your free time in a more flexible and relaxed way. Swap perfectionism for optimism and accept your failures with humility. ## 4. Don't look in the wrong place **Happiness does not lie in objects**, don't keep looking there because it is the wrong place. Having the best perfume or the best dress or the best car will not make you happier. A new car gives you joy the first week, when you get in and it smells new, but within a month you'll be using it without paying attention. Therefore,** don't waste your time shopping**, buy only what you need. **Invest** your money **in experiences and not in things**. A study revealed that 75% of people felt happier when they invested their money in trips, courses and classes; while only 34% said they felt happier when they bought things. ## 5. Don't depend on someone to make you happy ** If we are not happy ourselves** without depending on anyone, **we will hardly be happy thanks to someone else**. We cannot wait to have a partner or a good friend in order to be happy. **The capacity to be happy** is something that lies within us as individual beings, and we should never look for it in others. That said, once we are already capable of being happy on our own, it doesn't hurt to surround ourselves with people who are also happy and with people who care about doing those little things that make us happy. ## 6. Live in the present **Neither the past nor the future is here**, don't devote more than a small part of your valuable time to them, because **you must be in and live the present**, what you experience in each moment. Now remember the last time you really enjoyed something: where was your mind? It was in that moment; it was not thinking about the future, nor worrying about what I have to do, nor remembering a better past. **Practice the here and now** once a day, concentrating on your present, on what you are doing in that moment without letting other thoughts fill your mind. Practice [mindfulness](/en/how-mindfulness-improves-your-life-and-your-childrens/) every day. ## 7. Smile three times a day ![Smile to be happy](/images/blog/2015/11/sonrie.webp)Three times a day** is the minimum you should smile**, it's not that hard. Smiling** releases** the **happiness hormone**. Put it into practice starting today and you will see the changes. Easy, isn't it? You can read our post [Smile and discover how it changes your life](/en/smile-and-discover-how-your-life-changes/). ## 8. Don't expect happiness to come from outside Happiness is not something that comes from the outside in, it's just the opposite, **it goes from the inside out**. You should not wait for success at work to bring it to you, or for becoming famous, or for winning the lottery. If you think this, you are committing the first mistake, which is one of concept. It's not that success at work doesn't help, or a great salary at the end of the month; if, in addition to being happy, we can have it, all the better. The point is that if all of that disappeared, what would be left of us? We should not tie the concept of happiness to ephemeral things; today we can have success and money and tomorrow not. I have met people who, upon going bankrupt, found happiness. > "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful" ― Albert Schweitzer When people feel happy they tend to be more optimistic, more energetic and have more confidence in themselves, and this reinforces my claim: happiness goes from the inside out. [source of the study](http://sonjalyubomirsky.com/) ## 9. Help others I know of no better way to feel good than to do something for someone. Helping others translates immediately into personal satisfaction, and this satisfaction is the greatest source of happiness. Try doing favors or collaborating on some social project. Easy, isn't it? ### CONCLUSION **Don't wait for perfect conditions for happiness to arrive**, remember that perfection does not exist. Don't expect happiness to be brought to you by something or someone, remember that it goes from the inside out. Remember that happiness is learned and that you must start right now: live in the present, be thankful for what you have, enjoy every moment: when you eat, when you talk, when you drive… and smile. Do physical exercise, we are made to move, not to stay still, and share what you have by helping others; start by sharing this post ;)